waiting.....

a shooting pain in the side wakes me at 4:00 a.m. the pain comes in waves throughout the morning and has me in tears on my drive into work. at noon the pain has worsened and my husband begs me to call the doctor. at 2:30 pm the pain is so intense it takes my breath away and makes me stumble while walking across my office floor. this kind of pain finally warrants a call to the doctor. it's 3:00 pm on a friday and he's gone for the day. the nurse is going to have the on-call doctor call me back. she does and tells me to immediately go to labor and delivery. i still have 5 weeks to go, labor and delivery is not what i expect to hear.

at the hospital, in a delivery room, i am told to pee in a cup and then i am hooked up to monitors. the nurse casually tells me the pain i am feeling is contractions. the room starts spinning for both me and my husband. two doctors come in along with the nurse pushing an iv cart and an ultra sound machine. a blood pressure strap is wrapped around my arm. questions like, "do you know the sex? do you want him circumcised? are you going to breastfeed? do you have a living will?" are thrown at me. an iv is stuck in my arm while the doctor does an ultrasound. my baby weighs 5 pounds 7 oz, he's in the proper position. the doctor says, "he's ready to come out." holy hell i'm having a baby! beads of sweat the size of golf balls are dripping down my husband's head. he's biting his nails. he asks the doctor if he should be calling people and the doctor says, "not yet".

an exam is performed and numbers like 0 cm and 40% are mentioned. 0 cm, that means no dilation, right? the doctors says i'm not in true labor. miraculously the blood pressure drops back down to normal, my husband's too. the nurse had drawn blood and ran tests on my urine that proved i was dehydrated. dehydration causes contractions. who knew? 3 hours later the contractions have moved to 10 minutes apart. they decide to release me.


should i be on bedrest? nope, continue with normal daily activities. does this mean the baby could come early, my husband asks? the nurse replies, "yes. he could come tomorrow or he could come in two weeks, but nevertheless, early."


and now the waiting begins. contractions are still there, not like they were before, but still there. pressure is so strong on my pelvic and lower back area. i wait. condensation from the water bottle i carry drips down my legs. i think my water broke. it hasn't. my husband makes me sleep on a towel. he makes me sit on a towel. i wait for my water to break. 2 BBQs are on our calendar over the next few weeks and my rsvp response is "maybe". i'm waiting to see if the baby comes. trying to plan something for my husband's birthday at the end of the month is impossible because i'm waiting to see if the baby comes.

september 5th, the actual due date, was fine with me. but now, being told he could come early, makes it that much harder. waiting......i can't wait to meet this little boy.