dear baby

all of the websites and books say i should start a pregnancy journal or do a time capsule for you to open 20 years from now. instead i thought i would write you a letter. it's funny saying, "dear baby", we already know your name, in fact we knew it before we even knew you were coming into this world. we call you by name in the comforts of our home, when no one is around. can you hear us? your daddy has the habit of pressing his mouth right against my belly in hopes you can hear him better. it sounds awfully fuzzy to me, i can only imagine what it sounds like to you. i hope you like your name. i already know it's going to suit you perfectly. as of now, we're keeping it to ourselves. as you'll find out in a few years, we have a very opinionated family, and the last thing your daddy and i want is to hear every one's opinions on what your name should be. it's a secret only the three of us know.

so, a little about your parents. hi, i'm your mom. i'm thirty years old, will be thirty-one when you arrive. i'm originally from indiana. i moved out east eight years ago. i can't believe it's been that long already! i met your daddy six years ago and we will be married for two years when you get here in september. your grandma died 8 1/2 years ago of cancer. gosh i wish she could meet you. she would absolutely love you to pieces. she's in heaven now and is watching over you as i write. she'll be a great guardian angel. your grandpa still lives in batesville, indiana (that's where i grew up). your uncle lives in los angeles. they are both so excited to meet you.

i work for a company called miele. i sell appliances. boring, right? i work in manhattan on 58th street and as boring as appliances may sound, i love my job. i hope you will understand when i have to go back to work after you are born. your daddy just started a new job with villeroy and boch. both companies are german. speaking of, he's leaving for germany next week and it will be just me and you, and the dog.

oh, we have a yellow labrador. she'll be 13 years old this fall. her name is bacardi. she's the sweetest thing ever and i know she'll be quite protective over you. she's getting older by the day. i hope she sticks around long enough for you to really enjoy her, because i think the two of you will have a great time together.

right now we live in mount vernon, ny. we bought our home 3 years ago. it's been a work in progress. currently, the room under construction is your room! i can't wait for you to see it. so far it's just perfect and it's not even completely done. we painted the walls blue, of course, since you are a boy, but it's the perfect shade. not too bright, not too light. i hope you'll feel comfortable there and right at home.

i'm almost twenty-five weeks, which means in fifteen weeks you are supposed to come in to this world! over the past couple of weeks you have become very rambunctious, and i wouldn't have it any other way. i love it! it's a reminder to me that you're doing okay. even in the middle of the night when i wake up, you give me a little tap letting me know you're there. thank you. the first time i felt you really move, i was in the bathtub. you gave me a nice little kick! i first thought you were telling me the water was too hot, and i immediately got out of the tub. but, your kicks continued after that. your daddy was a bit jealous at first because he couldn't feel them, but finally on mother's day you gave us your best kick and he felt it! happy mother's day to me! now, we can actually see you kick, it's the coolest thing ever. your daddy thinks it means you're going to be a soccer player. your grandpa hopes your arms are moving and that you're going to be a quarterback. we'll love you no matter what sport you play.

surprisingly enough, i'm not scared of your arrival. actually, i can't wait for it to get here. i've already imagined you in my mind, a beautiful little boy. it doesn't matter to me who you look like either. of course, i would love for you to look like me, but i would be happy if you looked like your daddy. i can't wait to hold you in my arms. stare at you, completely amazed that you are a creation of me and your daddy. amazed that i carried you in my belly for forty weeks. hoping that i provided the proper nourishment and a safe place to grow.

you'll have to forgive me if i don't get it quite right in the beginning. it's my first time being a mom, you know, so please bear with me. i'm going to do my best.

that's it for now. enjoy the apple i'm eating at this moment and i'll see you in fifteen weeks.
i love you.

love,
your mom